I was shaken back to reality during sunday school last sunday. We have been studying Genesis over the past months and this week we read through the chapter of Joseph and his landing in prison. I had to ask myself docircumstances make a person? I know I sometimes think if I wasn't in this position/situation in life than I could accomplish this or I could do that. As I was talking to the teens I began realizing that as much as I hate my circumstances, these circumstances have nothing to do with my being able to accomplish anything.
In thinking over my last two months I would say that this has been the most stressful time I have ever been through. Between commuting an 1 1/2, the pastor leaving, my house mess, and Kyle starting the process to begin steriods I have felt overwhelmed, discouraged beyond words, and pretty angry. It is my heartfelt prayer that this chapter of my life get over quickly.
In focusing on all the externals it is very easy for me to distiguish between who I am and the circumstances around. Will life be different when the circumstances change? Reality is I am still the same person just like Joseph.
He was the same person when he was in the house of pottopher as he was when he was in prison. This is a sharp dose of reality. I have little to no clue what the future holds for me. It wouldn't suprise me if I became an aflec salesman any more than it would suprise me if I stayed at St Marks or if I found a job in Valpo. But, these are all exteriors, rather the question is are any of these going to change the person that I am? I hope that I have the faith and trust that God does know what is going on, but I also have the responsibilty to continue being willing to grow into who God wants me to be. It is really not fun being in this position or answering the question what are you going to do? I can honestly answer I don't know, but I can answer I am working on being who God wants me to be in the meantime.