I was shaken back to reality during sunday school last sunday. We have been studying Genesis over the past months and this week we read through the chapter of Joseph and his landing in prison. I had to ask myself docircumstances make a person? I know I sometimes think if I wasn't in this position/situation in life than I could accomplish this or I could do that. As I was talking to the teens I began realizing that as much as I hate my circumstances, these circumstances have nothing to do with my being able to accomplish anything.
In thinking over my last two months I would say that this has been the most stressful time I have ever been through. Between commuting an 1 1/2, the pastor leaving, my house mess, and Kyle starting the process to begin steriods I have felt overwhelmed, discouraged beyond words, and pretty angry. It is my heartfelt prayer that this chapter of my life get over quickly.
In focusing on all the externals it is very easy for me to distiguish between who I am and the circumstances around. Will life be different when the circumstances change? Reality is I am still the same person just like Joseph.
He was the same person when he was in the house of pottopher as he was when he was in prison. This is a sharp dose of reality. I have little to no clue what the future holds for me. It wouldn't suprise me if I became an aflec salesman any more than it would suprise me if I stayed at St Marks or if I found a job in Valpo. But, these are all exteriors, rather the question is are any of these going to change the person that I am? I hope that I have the faith and trust that God does know what is going on, but I also have the responsibilty to continue being willing to grow into who God wants me to be. It is really not fun being in this position or answering the question what are you going to do? I can honestly answer I don't know, but I can answer I am working on being who God wants me to be in the meantime.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
How are we going to get to New York?
I never thought my life would be this affected by the rising costs of gas. With all my crazy commuting back and forth between goshen my gas costs are close to 25% of my income. I had friend joke with me the other day well you are going to be breaking even by the time the prices come to a close. Which hopefully won't happen. I have no idea who else it is effecting but personally it is effecting me. This is just a crazy situation but not as much of a headache as trying to find trnasportation to New York City this summer.
I wouldn't have thought getting to New York would be the toughest part of this mission trip planning. I was quoted $8,000 + a drivers hotel room for the week by a bus company, I was told that enterprise does not allow their vehicles from here to be driven to the city. Amtrack would be an interesting alternative but when I did my research the cost was lower but it goes from elkhart to cleveland to pittsburgh to washington dc to philadelphia to new york city. A fun filled 36 hours of being on a train each way. Granted there would be many stories to tell from that trip. Greyhound may be the best option. It only takes 26 hours again the stories from a greyhound bus is going to be unbelievable. We even checked into flying the price was do able about $250 per person. Then I started looking at the times and it said 11 hours from take off to getting down at JFk. After looking at the itinerary I found that it goes from south bend to chicago to cinncinati and then to New York. I guess that is do able all except transportation while in the city.
There has to be some unconventional way of thinking about this this problem adnd finding a solution. Maybe we could get on fed ex plane or a farmer needs 24 people to help him get pigs across the country,an amish family may have relatives in the new york area we could hitch a ride on a buggy or a prison bus has extra room. There has to be a cheaper way to get from here to New York. That is my mission and I would love any ideas or help. I am thinking boat may be the cheapest.
How is the price of gas changing your life?
I wouldn't have thought getting to New York would be the toughest part of this mission trip planning. I was quoted $8,000 + a drivers hotel room for the week by a bus company, I was told that enterprise does not allow their vehicles from here to be driven to the city. Amtrack would be an interesting alternative but when I did my research the cost was lower but it goes from elkhart to cleveland to pittsburgh to washington dc to philadelphia to new york city. A fun filled 36 hours of being on a train each way. Granted there would be many stories to tell from that trip. Greyhound may be the best option. It only takes 26 hours again the stories from a greyhound bus is going to be unbelievable. We even checked into flying the price was do able about $250 per person. Then I started looking at the times and it said 11 hours from take off to getting down at JFk. After looking at the itinerary I found that it goes from south bend to chicago to cinncinati and then to New York. I guess that is do able all except transportation while in the city.
There has to be some unconventional way of thinking about this this problem adnd finding a solution. Maybe we could get on fed ex plane or a farmer needs 24 people to help him get pigs across the country,an amish family may have relatives in the new york area we could hitch a ride on a buggy or a prison bus has extra room. There has to be a cheaper way to get from here to New York. That is my mission and I would love any ideas or help. I am thinking boat may be the cheapest.
How is the price of gas changing your life?
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Update on Kyle
I haven't talked alot about Kyle and his MD (muscular dystrophy) for the past few years. It is a tough topic for me to talk about and in some ways have tried to push it out of my mind for as much as I can.
Jill took Kyle to the doctor today. This is one of those appointments we have been dreading for the past few years. Our appointments up until this point had been filled with he is doing well at this point, he is stable and not going downhill. Today we knew that the doctor would be suggesting him start on his steriod medication. That was nt a suprise, I guess in my mind what was a suprise was that Kyle also has osteo perosis (?) and an enlarged part of the heart from overwork. Both of these are not uncommon in md patients, but it is hard because we can start seeing the deteriation we have been dreading for the past few years. I think the hardest part has been well meaning people tell us he looks fine, we think this isn't really going to happen. Well we wish it really wasn't going to happen and I believe God can heal him but if that doesn't happen reality says his body and inner organs are going to deteriate in front of us.
As hard as all the crazy things have been in the last year, these trials may only be preparing us for each of the coming trials we will have.
Jill took Kyle to the doctor today. This is one of those appointments we have been dreading for the past few years. Our appointments up until this point had been filled with he is doing well at this point, he is stable and not going downhill. Today we knew that the doctor would be suggesting him start on his steriod medication. That was nt a suprise, I guess in my mind what was a suprise was that Kyle also has osteo perosis (?) and an enlarged part of the heart from overwork. Both of these are not uncommon in md patients, but it is hard because we can start seeing the deteriation we have been dreading for the past few years. I think the hardest part has been well meaning people tell us he looks fine, we think this isn't really going to happen. Well we wish it really wasn't going to happen and I believe God can heal him but if that doesn't happen reality says his body and inner organs are going to deteriate in front of us.
As hard as all the crazy things have been in the last year, these trials may only be preparing us for each of the coming trials we will have.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
We can vanquish fear
We can vanquish fear
I love the "Office" it is really the only show I watch on tv, other than all my bravo reality shows. In one episode Dwight decides to take Ryan on a sales call. Well Dwight first takes him to his beet farm for a lesson. In this lesson he brings Ryan into this barn and tells Ryan that in order to vanquish fear he needs to wrestle his cousin Mose who has fear written on his shirt. Ryan does not want any part of this so Dwight just suggests that he jump into this casket that is sitting in the back. If you don't follow the show this scenes is funny like most episodes.
What do we do to vanquish fear? If I am like anyone else I don't want to face up to my fears , I would rather manage them and try to skirt the issue until I am on my death bed. It is to painful and even when we come clean about the fear then we have a responsibility to change.
I spoke about David and Goliath last week in church and I did the childrens sermon on fear. So I asked all the little rascels what they were afraid of? Since I asked them what they were afraid I thought it was only appropriate to share one my many fears. I wanted it to be more tangible than lonliness, the future, or dead by termites. I told them snakes, which I hate. There is this one little boy who is the incarnation of the Crocodile hunter he has brought all sorts of crazy animals into the church including some florescent lizards, and some small furry australian rodent. I think he may have the reptile section of a zoo in his bedroom. When he heard I was scared of snakes he wanted to do something about it his mother told me.
He came to visit my in my office yesterday and he brought me a small garter snake I can handle it,and i thought this over. Well little did I know that around the corner from my office was a python that he had. So without me seeing he traded the garter snake for a python and then turned around and this 4 ft long pythoin was staring me down. I about jumped out of my chair.
This little boy is about 4 and he was telling me all about his pet python named stripes. He was trying to convince me that the snake wouldn't hurt me and I didn't have anything to be afraid off.
How do we vanquish fear? I think it is easier to deal with it when we are young because we still believe that things can change. I believe as we get older we settle for what life is and don't think to much about the hope that it will change.
I loved the little boy with the python, and his determination and desire to help me get over my fear of snakes and I just might with his help
I love the "Office" it is really the only show I watch on tv, other than all my bravo reality shows. In one episode Dwight decides to take Ryan on a sales call. Well Dwight first takes him to his beet farm for a lesson. In this lesson he brings Ryan into this barn and tells Ryan that in order to vanquish fear he needs to wrestle his cousin Mose who has fear written on his shirt. Ryan does not want any part of this so Dwight just suggests that he jump into this casket that is sitting in the back. If you don't follow the show this scenes is funny like most episodes.
What do we do to vanquish fear? If I am like anyone else I don't want to face up to my fears , I would rather manage them and try to skirt the issue until I am on my death bed. It is to painful and even when we come clean about the fear then we have a responsibility to change.
I spoke about David and Goliath last week in church and I did the childrens sermon on fear. So I asked all the little rascels what they were afraid of? Since I asked them what they were afraid I thought it was only appropriate to share one my many fears. I wanted it to be more tangible than lonliness, the future, or dead by termites. I told them snakes, which I hate. There is this one little boy who is the incarnation of the Crocodile hunter he has brought all sorts of crazy animals into the church including some florescent lizards, and some small furry australian rodent. I think he may have the reptile section of a zoo in his bedroom. When he heard I was scared of snakes he wanted to do something about it his mother told me.
He came to visit my in my office yesterday and he brought me a small garter snake I can handle it,and i thought this over. Well little did I know that around the corner from my office was a python that he had. So without me seeing he traded the garter snake for a python and then turned around and this 4 ft long pythoin was staring me down. I about jumped out of my chair.
This little boy is about 4 and he was telling me all about his pet python named stripes. He was trying to convince me that the snake wouldn't hurt me and I didn't have anything to be afraid off.
How do we vanquish fear? I think it is easier to deal with it when we are young because we still believe that things can change. I believe as we get older we settle for what life is and don't think to much about the hope that it will change.
I loved the little boy with the python, and his determination and desire to help me get over my fear of snakes and I just might with his help
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
"great" ideas
Some great church promotional gimmicks
With the time I have spent in Goshen I have been able to come up with some "great" ideas. It really is amazing how many warped ideas I can come up when given the time.
Feel free to use these ideas they are great:
1. Sell your imaginary friends on ebay- You have spent enough time with them, it is time for a change but for you and them. They need the time and the freedom to explore other parts of the world. You are confing them and clipping their wings. if you are over 30 the time has come to part with them, please let me help you. I may be the first one to tell you this but you have to let go.
2. Popsicyle night- We did this the other night at youth group. What is better than a cottage cheese popsiclye. I will tell you what might be- pickle juice, oatmeal, or relish. Mac and cheese not so good. But you can not beat spam and cheese on a frozen stick. Watch ebay for the recipe for spaghetti and meatball pops. It is going to be the newest fad. Next week is slushies and shakes. What is better than tunafish mixed with ice cream. Yum yum.
3. A car wash- this may not sound like a new idea but here is the catch. We are auctioning off car washes on line to any one in contential us. Say there is extremely dirty car in topeka kansas that the owner would want just the right group of teens to wash. he can buy our services. It will be the newest youth group ad. Combine two great events road trips and car washes. It will be a huge money raiser. oh wait it costs money to get to Topeka kansas.
4. Make your own youth group cologne- This idea came after a group of teens threw a bottle of axe body spray, italian dressing, and kerosane into a bon fire. The fragrance is to die for. It will be on the shelves of your local dollar store soon.
Being in Goshen isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
With the time I have spent in Goshen I have been able to come up with some "great" ideas. It really is amazing how many warped ideas I can come up when given the time.
Feel free to use these ideas they are great:
1. Sell your imaginary friends on ebay- You have spent enough time with them, it is time for a change but for you and them. They need the time and the freedom to explore other parts of the world. You are confing them and clipping their wings. if you are over 30 the time has come to part with them, please let me help you. I may be the first one to tell you this but you have to let go.
2. Popsicyle night- We did this the other night at youth group. What is better than a cottage cheese popsiclye. I will tell you what might be- pickle juice, oatmeal, or relish. Mac and cheese not so good. But you can not beat spam and cheese on a frozen stick. Watch ebay for the recipe for spaghetti and meatball pops. It is going to be the newest fad. Next week is slushies and shakes. What is better than tunafish mixed with ice cream. Yum yum.
3. A car wash- this may not sound like a new idea but here is the catch. We are auctioning off car washes on line to any one in contential us. Say there is extremely dirty car in topeka kansas that the owner would want just the right group of teens to wash. he can buy our services. It will be the newest youth group ad. Combine two great events road trips and car washes. It will be a huge money raiser. oh wait it costs money to get to Topeka kansas.
4. Make your own youth group cologne- This idea came after a group of teens threw a bottle of axe body spray, italian dressing, and kerosane into a bon fire. The fragrance is to die for. It will be on the shelves of your local dollar store soon.
Being in Goshen isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Do we stop learning?
How many of us read and expand our brains? If we read do we read materials that support what we already believe? Are we constantly trying to defend our own belief systems that we don’t even know if we believe because it is true or because it is a tradition. I am scared to think of this concept in the realm of Christianity and the church.
Pagan Christianity? has just been hammering at me over the last few weeks. It is one of the first books in a while that has challenged my thinking to the point of really reexaming some of my practices and certain beliefs I have about the church.
I don’t want to give examples because that isn’t point, the point is are we so dogmatic on how we live out our Christian walk that even faced with evidence against how we live we ignore it. Do we honestly believe that we are living out the purest form of following Jesus? If we don’t believe we are living it out, then we may need to examine our lives and see what we what sacred cows we are holding onto stronger than our actual faith in God.
Is our faith stronger in our traditions than in God? I think asking this question may have gotten Jesus killed. What traditions were the religous people at the time of Jesus practicing that Jesus questioned? Was it their pious attitudes, was it their pride in how much money that had given, was it their holier than thou attitudes over the lost and hurting.
What did Jesus lift up as stories for us to emulate? Was it the story of the good samaratan, was it the women at the well, was it zacheus, was it the children, was it the sheep and the goats? What does it look like for us to be the church on both and individual level and a corporate level?
Maybe we do not know because it would be so foreign to us if it was right in front of us. Is the church meant to be the group of people who attend each sunday morning out of ritual and duty and extremely upset if someone messes with their tradition of where they sit or the order of the service? Then they critique the pastor not by what God has done in the service but by the length and eloquence that the message is brought.
Maybe we all need to reaxime the way we view both our church corporatly and individually and see if it matches up to what the new testement describes the church to be
Pagan Christianity? has just been hammering at me over the last few weeks. It is one of the first books in a while that has challenged my thinking to the point of really reexaming some of my practices and certain beliefs I have about the church.
I don’t want to give examples because that isn’t point, the point is are we so dogmatic on how we live out our Christian walk that even faced with evidence against how we live we ignore it. Do we honestly believe that we are living out the purest form of following Jesus? If we don’t believe we are living it out, then we may need to examine our lives and see what we what sacred cows we are holding onto stronger than our actual faith in God.
Is our faith stronger in our traditions than in God? I think asking this question may have gotten Jesus killed. What traditions were the religous people at the time of Jesus practicing that Jesus questioned? Was it their pious attitudes, was it their pride in how much money that had given, was it their holier than thou attitudes over the lost and hurting.
What did Jesus lift up as stories for us to emulate? Was it the story of the good samaratan, was it the women at the well, was it zacheus, was it the children, was it the sheep and the goats? What does it look like for us to be the church on both and individual level and a corporate level?
Maybe we do not know because it would be so foreign to us if it was right in front of us. Is the church meant to be the group of people who attend each sunday morning out of ritual and duty and extremely upset if someone messes with their tradition of where they sit or the order of the service? Then they critique the pastor not by what God has done in the service but by the length and eloquence that the message is brought.
Maybe we all need to reaxime the way we view both our church corporatly and individually and see if it matches up to what the new testement describes the church to be
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Church members for life?
Tonight I had the opportunity to hear an expert in the Amish culture speak about the Amish communities response to the school shooting two years ago. This scholar from Goshen College co-authored a book titled “Amish Grace.” An amazing story from a group of people that I can learn from, I wrote a blog last year titled “Long live the Amish.” I have a great deal of respect and admiration for this community of people.
One of the topics that was dealt with in this scholars speech was the Amish as a community and not as individuals. The Amish as a community forgave the man’s family who administered this act of violence. In order to be part of this community he individual has to make a pledge and promise they are going to embrace this for life. This is a promise that comes with heavy consequences such as being shunned if broken.
How would this change our culture if we made a vow like this? Could you imagine how much less church splits and church shopping would happen ? Yes there are some downsides to this such as being so ingrained and so inward focus, but the community and family atmosphere that would be built would be so great.
If we were to start incorporating some of the values that the Amish have in their churches we would probably see greater fruit from relationships. I think many times don’t invest fully into relationships with others in a church setting because we are afraid of hurt and rejection or because it isn’t worth the effort. We can be somewhere else if we get our feelings hurt or if there is something newer at another church.
We are losing out on the relationships God has intended us to have. I know I have. stated that I am unsure of what is going to happen when our new pastor comes into town. The reality is it doesn’t matter. I have grown so close in such a short period of time to a core group here in Goshen, that I really couldn’t imagine life without them.
Isn’t that what a large aspect of church is all about? Finding people to do life with and working through struggles together, it is so hard to find this and we should fight a lot more than we do to keep it.
Another aspect of Amish culture this scholar said tonight was that the Amish were surprised when they went to visit the family of the man who killed their children, and no one else was there to support the family of the killer. (He committed suicide during the rampage) The Amish take care of those who are widowed and hurting. For those who are widowed they visit them every Sunday for a year after their loss. They don’t even have a full time pastor to ensure this happening. They understand and care enough about each other is just a way of life.
That is just the way Amish do it, when asked why they forgave the killer their response was that is who we are. We decided a long time ago this was the response we were going to have and we were ready for it.
There are many horrible aspects of being an Amish but they sure have a lot for us middle class American Christians to learn about caring for each other.
One of the topics that was dealt with in this scholars speech was the Amish as a community and not as individuals. The Amish as a community forgave the man’s family who administered this act of violence. In order to be part of this community he individual has to make a pledge and promise they are going to embrace this for life. This is a promise that comes with heavy consequences such as being shunned if broken.
How would this change our culture if we made a vow like this? Could you imagine how much less church splits and church shopping would happen ? Yes there are some downsides to this such as being so ingrained and so inward focus, but the community and family atmosphere that would be built would be so great.
If we were to start incorporating some of the values that the Amish have in their churches we would probably see greater fruit from relationships. I think many times don’t invest fully into relationships with others in a church setting because we are afraid of hurt and rejection or because it isn’t worth the effort. We can be somewhere else if we get our feelings hurt or if there is something newer at another church.
We are losing out on the relationships God has intended us to have. I know I have. stated that I am unsure of what is going to happen when our new pastor comes into town. The reality is it doesn’t matter. I have grown so close in such a short period of time to a core group here in Goshen, that I really couldn’t imagine life without them.
Isn’t that what a large aspect of church is all about? Finding people to do life with and working through struggles together, it is so hard to find this and we should fight a lot more than we do to keep it.
Another aspect of Amish culture this scholar said tonight was that the Amish were surprised when they went to visit the family of the man who killed their children, and no one else was there to support the family of the killer. (He committed suicide during the rampage) The Amish take care of those who are widowed and hurting. For those who are widowed they visit them every Sunday for a year after their loss. They don’t even have a full time pastor to ensure this happening. They understand and care enough about each other is just a way of life.
That is just the way Amish do it, when asked why they forgave the killer their response was that is who we are. We decided a long time ago this was the response we were going to have and we were ready for it.
There are many horrible aspects of being an Amish but they sure have a lot for us middle class American Christians to learn about caring for each other.
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