I haven't talked alot about Kyle and his MD (muscular dystrophy) for the past few years. It is a tough topic for me to talk about and in some ways have tried to push it out of my mind for as much as I can.
Jill took Kyle to the doctor today. This is one of those appointments we have been dreading for the past few years. Our appointments up until this point had been filled with he is doing well at this point, he is stable and not going downhill. Today we knew that the doctor would be suggesting him start on his steriod medication. That was nt a suprise, I guess in my mind what was a suprise was that Kyle also has osteo perosis (?) and an enlarged part of the heart from overwork. Both of these are not uncommon in md patients, but it is hard because we can start seeing the deteriation we have been dreading for the past few years. I think the hardest part has been well meaning people tell us he looks fine, we think this isn't really going to happen. Well we wish it really wasn't going to happen and I believe God can heal him but if that doesn't happen reality says his body and inner organs are going to deteriate in front of us.
As hard as all the crazy things have been in the last year, these trials may only be preparing us for each of the coming trials we will have.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
We can vanquish fear
We can vanquish fear
I love the "Office" it is really the only show I watch on tv, other than all my bravo reality shows. In one episode Dwight decides to take Ryan on a sales call. Well Dwight first takes him to his beet farm for a lesson. In this lesson he brings Ryan into this barn and tells Ryan that in order to vanquish fear he needs to wrestle his cousin Mose who has fear written on his shirt. Ryan does not want any part of this so Dwight just suggests that he jump into this casket that is sitting in the back. If you don't follow the show this scenes is funny like most episodes.
What do we do to vanquish fear? If I am like anyone else I don't want to face up to my fears , I would rather manage them and try to skirt the issue until I am on my death bed. It is to painful and even when we come clean about the fear then we have a responsibility to change.
I spoke about David and Goliath last week in church and I did the childrens sermon on fear. So I asked all the little rascels what they were afraid of? Since I asked them what they were afraid I thought it was only appropriate to share one my many fears. I wanted it to be more tangible than lonliness, the future, or dead by termites. I told them snakes, which I hate. There is this one little boy who is the incarnation of the Crocodile hunter he has brought all sorts of crazy animals into the church including some florescent lizards, and some small furry australian rodent. I think he may have the reptile section of a zoo in his bedroom. When he heard I was scared of snakes he wanted to do something about it his mother told me.
He came to visit my in my office yesterday and he brought me a small garter snake I can handle it,and i thought this over. Well little did I know that around the corner from my office was a python that he had. So without me seeing he traded the garter snake for a python and then turned around and this 4 ft long pythoin was staring me down. I about jumped out of my chair.
This little boy is about 4 and he was telling me all about his pet python named stripes. He was trying to convince me that the snake wouldn't hurt me and I didn't have anything to be afraid off.
How do we vanquish fear? I think it is easier to deal with it when we are young because we still believe that things can change. I believe as we get older we settle for what life is and don't think to much about the hope that it will change.
I loved the little boy with the python, and his determination and desire to help me get over my fear of snakes and I just might with his help
I love the "Office" it is really the only show I watch on tv, other than all my bravo reality shows. In one episode Dwight decides to take Ryan on a sales call. Well Dwight first takes him to his beet farm for a lesson. In this lesson he brings Ryan into this barn and tells Ryan that in order to vanquish fear he needs to wrestle his cousin Mose who has fear written on his shirt. Ryan does not want any part of this so Dwight just suggests that he jump into this casket that is sitting in the back. If you don't follow the show this scenes is funny like most episodes.
What do we do to vanquish fear? If I am like anyone else I don't want to face up to my fears , I would rather manage them and try to skirt the issue until I am on my death bed. It is to painful and even when we come clean about the fear then we have a responsibility to change.
I spoke about David and Goliath last week in church and I did the childrens sermon on fear. So I asked all the little rascels what they were afraid of? Since I asked them what they were afraid I thought it was only appropriate to share one my many fears. I wanted it to be more tangible than lonliness, the future, or dead by termites. I told them snakes, which I hate. There is this one little boy who is the incarnation of the Crocodile hunter he has brought all sorts of crazy animals into the church including some florescent lizards, and some small furry australian rodent. I think he may have the reptile section of a zoo in his bedroom. When he heard I was scared of snakes he wanted to do something about it his mother told me.
He came to visit my in my office yesterday and he brought me a small garter snake I can handle it,and i thought this over. Well little did I know that around the corner from my office was a python that he had. So without me seeing he traded the garter snake for a python and then turned around and this 4 ft long pythoin was staring me down. I about jumped out of my chair.
This little boy is about 4 and he was telling me all about his pet python named stripes. He was trying to convince me that the snake wouldn't hurt me and I didn't have anything to be afraid off.
How do we vanquish fear? I think it is easier to deal with it when we are young because we still believe that things can change. I believe as we get older we settle for what life is and don't think to much about the hope that it will change.
I loved the little boy with the python, and his determination and desire to help me get over my fear of snakes and I just might with his help
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
"great" ideas
Some great church promotional gimmicks
With the time I have spent in Goshen I have been able to come up with some "great" ideas. It really is amazing how many warped ideas I can come up when given the time.
Feel free to use these ideas they are great:
1. Sell your imaginary friends on ebay- You have spent enough time with them, it is time for a change but for you and them. They need the time and the freedom to explore other parts of the world. You are confing them and clipping their wings. if you are over 30 the time has come to part with them, please let me help you. I may be the first one to tell you this but you have to let go.
2. Popsicyle night- We did this the other night at youth group. What is better than a cottage cheese popsiclye. I will tell you what might be- pickle juice, oatmeal, or relish. Mac and cheese not so good. But you can not beat spam and cheese on a frozen stick. Watch ebay for the recipe for spaghetti and meatball pops. It is going to be the newest fad. Next week is slushies and shakes. What is better than tunafish mixed with ice cream. Yum yum.
3. A car wash- this may not sound like a new idea but here is the catch. We are auctioning off car washes on line to any one in contential us. Say there is extremely dirty car in topeka kansas that the owner would want just the right group of teens to wash. he can buy our services. It will be the newest youth group ad. Combine two great events road trips and car washes. It will be a huge money raiser. oh wait it costs money to get to Topeka kansas.
4. Make your own youth group cologne- This idea came after a group of teens threw a bottle of axe body spray, italian dressing, and kerosane into a bon fire. The fragrance is to die for. It will be on the shelves of your local dollar store soon.
Being in Goshen isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
With the time I have spent in Goshen I have been able to come up with some "great" ideas. It really is amazing how many warped ideas I can come up when given the time.
Feel free to use these ideas they are great:
1. Sell your imaginary friends on ebay- You have spent enough time with them, it is time for a change but for you and them. They need the time and the freedom to explore other parts of the world. You are confing them and clipping their wings. if you are over 30 the time has come to part with them, please let me help you. I may be the first one to tell you this but you have to let go.
2. Popsicyle night- We did this the other night at youth group. What is better than a cottage cheese popsiclye. I will tell you what might be- pickle juice, oatmeal, or relish. Mac and cheese not so good. But you can not beat spam and cheese on a frozen stick. Watch ebay for the recipe for spaghetti and meatball pops. It is going to be the newest fad. Next week is slushies and shakes. What is better than tunafish mixed with ice cream. Yum yum.
3. A car wash- this may not sound like a new idea but here is the catch. We are auctioning off car washes on line to any one in contential us. Say there is extremely dirty car in topeka kansas that the owner would want just the right group of teens to wash. he can buy our services. It will be the newest youth group ad. Combine two great events road trips and car washes. It will be a huge money raiser. oh wait it costs money to get to Topeka kansas.
4. Make your own youth group cologne- This idea came after a group of teens threw a bottle of axe body spray, italian dressing, and kerosane into a bon fire. The fragrance is to die for. It will be on the shelves of your local dollar store soon.
Being in Goshen isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Do we stop learning?
How many of us read and expand our brains? If we read do we read materials that support what we already believe? Are we constantly trying to defend our own belief systems that we don’t even know if we believe because it is true or because it is a tradition. I am scared to think of this concept in the realm of Christianity and the church.
Pagan Christianity? has just been hammering at me over the last few weeks. It is one of the first books in a while that has challenged my thinking to the point of really reexaming some of my practices and certain beliefs I have about the church.
I don’t want to give examples because that isn’t point, the point is are we so dogmatic on how we live out our Christian walk that even faced with evidence against how we live we ignore it. Do we honestly believe that we are living out the purest form of following Jesus? If we don’t believe we are living it out, then we may need to examine our lives and see what we what sacred cows we are holding onto stronger than our actual faith in God.
Is our faith stronger in our traditions than in God? I think asking this question may have gotten Jesus killed. What traditions were the religous people at the time of Jesus practicing that Jesus questioned? Was it their pious attitudes, was it their pride in how much money that had given, was it their holier than thou attitudes over the lost and hurting.
What did Jesus lift up as stories for us to emulate? Was it the story of the good samaratan, was it the women at the well, was it zacheus, was it the children, was it the sheep and the goats? What does it look like for us to be the church on both and individual level and a corporate level?
Maybe we do not know because it would be so foreign to us if it was right in front of us. Is the church meant to be the group of people who attend each sunday morning out of ritual and duty and extremely upset if someone messes with their tradition of where they sit or the order of the service? Then they critique the pastor not by what God has done in the service but by the length and eloquence that the message is brought.
Maybe we all need to reaxime the way we view both our church corporatly and individually and see if it matches up to what the new testement describes the church to be
Pagan Christianity? has just been hammering at me over the last few weeks. It is one of the first books in a while that has challenged my thinking to the point of really reexaming some of my practices and certain beliefs I have about the church.
I don’t want to give examples because that isn’t point, the point is are we so dogmatic on how we live out our Christian walk that even faced with evidence against how we live we ignore it. Do we honestly believe that we are living out the purest form of following Jesus? If we don’t believe we are living it out, then we may need to examine our lives and see what we what sacred cows we are holding onto stronger than our actual faith in God.
Is our faith stronger in our traditions than in God? I think asking this question may have gotten Jesus killed. What traditions were the religous people at the time of Jesus practicing that Jesus questioned? Was it their pious attitudes, was it their pride in how much money that had given, was it their holier than thou attitudes over the lost and hurting.
What did Jesus lift up as stories for us to emulate? Was it the story of the good samaratan, was it the women at the well, was it zacheus, was it the children, was it the sheep and the goats? What does it look like for us to be the church on both and individual level and a corporate level?
Maybe we do not know because it would be so foreign to us if it was right in front of us. Is the church meant to be the group of people who attend each sunday morning out of ritual and duty and extremely upset if someone messes with their tradition of where they sit or the order of the service? Then they critique the pastor not by what God has done in the service but by the length and eloquence that the message is brought.
Maybe we all need to reaxime the way we view both our church corporatly and individually and see if it matches up to what the new testement describes the church to be
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Church members for life?
Tonight I had the opportunity to hear an expert in the Amish culture speak about the Amish communities response to the school shooting two years ago. This scholar from Goshen College co-authored a book titled “Amish Grace.” An amazing story from a group of people that I can learn from, I wrote a blog last year titled “Long live the Amish.” I have a great deal of respect and admiration for this community of people.
One of the topics that was dealt with in this scholars speech was the Amish as a community and not as individuals. The Amish as a community forgave the man’s family who administered this act of violence. In order to be part of this community he individual has to make a pledge and promise they are going to embrace this for life. This is a promise that comes with heavy consequences such as being shunned if broken.
How would this change our culture if we made a vow like this? Could you imagine how much less church splits and church shopping would happen ? Yes there are some downsides to this such as being so ingrained and so inward focus, but the community and family atmosphere that would be built would be so great.
If we were to start incorporating some of the values that the Amish have in their churches we would probably see greater fruit from relationships. I think many times don’t invest fully into relationships with others in a church setting because we are afraid of hurt and rejection or because it isn’t worth the effort. We can be somewhere else if we get our feelings hurt or if there is something newer at another church.
We are losing out on the relationships God has intended us to have. I know I have. stated that I am unsure of what is going to happen when our new pastor comes into town. The reality is it doesn’t matter. I have grown so close in such a short period of time to a core group here in Goshen, that I really couldn’t imagine life without them.
Isn’t that what a large aspect of church is all about? Finding people to do life with and working through struggles together, it is so hard to find this and we should fight a lot more than we do to keep it.
Another aspect of Amish culture this scholar said tonight was that the Amish were surprised when they went to visit the family of the man who killed their children, and no one else was there to support the family of the killer. (He committed suicide during the rampage) The Amish take care of those who are widowed and hurting. For those who are widowed they visit them every Sunday for a year after their loss. They don’t even have a full time pastor to ensure this happening. They understand and care enough about each other is just a way of life.
That is just the way Amish do it, when asked why they forgave the killer their response was that is who we are. We decided a long time ago this was the response we were going to have and we were ready for it.
There are many horrible aspects of being an Amish but they sure have a lot for us middle class American Christians to learn about caring for each other.
One of the topics that was dealt with in this scholars speech was the Amish as a community and not as individuals. The Amish as a community forgave the man’s family who administered this act of violence. In order to be part of this community he individual has to make a pledge and promise they are going to embrace this for life. This is a promise that comes with heavy consequences such as being shunned if broken.
How would this change our culture if we made a vow like this? Could you imagine how much less church splits and church shopping would happen ? Yes there are some downsides to this such as being so ingrained and so inward focus, but the community and family atmosphere that would be built would be so great.
If we were to start incorporating some of the values that the Amish have in their churches we would probably see greater fruit from relationships. I think many times don’t invest fully into relationships with others in a church setting because we are afraid of hurt and rejection or because it isn’t worth the effort. We can be somewhere else if we get our feelings hurt or if there is something newer at another church.
We are losing out on the relationships God has intended us to have. I know I have. stated that I am unsure of what is going to happen when our new pastor comes into town. The reality is it doesn’t matter. I have grown so close in such a short period of time to a core group here in Goshen, that I really couldn’t imagine life without them.
Isn’t that what a large aspect of church is all about? Finding people to do life with and working through struggles together, it is so hard to find this and we should fight a lot more than we do to keep it.
Another aspect of Amish culture this scholar said tonight was that the Amish were surprised when they went to visit the family of the man who killed their children, and no one else was there to support the family of the killer. (He committed suicide during the rampage) The Amish take care of those who are widowed and hurting. For those who are widowed they visit them every Sunday for a year after their loss. They don’t even have a full time pastor to ensure this happening. They understand and care enough about each other is just a way of life.
That is just the way Amish do it, when asked why they forgave the killer their response was that is who we are. We decided a long time ago this was the response we were going to have and we were ready for it.
There are many horrible aspects of being an Amish but they sure have a lot for us middle class American Christians to learn about caring for each other.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Gang leader for a day
In my spare time this week I have been reading Gang leader for a day. It is about a sciocologist who spends many years in the Robert Taylor Homes in the ghetto of Chicago. It is a fascinating tale of how the people of the inner city live. There is as much bribery, payments for protection, and coruption as you would hear of in an eastern bloc country. All of this going on in the midst of an American city.
It was a very intriguing story, one that many of us growing up in middle class America are not aware of. Is the problem we face one of lack of resources? Are the reason people live like this because there isn’t enough in America and the world to go around? Or is it the fact that some hord all the resources and leave the rest of the world to fend for themselves.
This theme of hording resources seems to be a common theme of my life of late. In Sunday school yesterday we read Genesis 26 as we are reading through Genesis and the hording issue in this chapter is water. There was enough water to go around but people were jealous and started filling each others wells up and trying to make issues for the others. I watched the movie Blood Diamond on saturday. An unbelievable story of what the westerns world’s greed and the problems it causes along the way.
I am more and more sad we as Americans carry themselves. Unfortunately I see so much more of a similarities between our version of Christianity and the things Jesus proclaimed against.
In the first chapter of Pagan Christianity? The amount of money spent on church buildings is astronomical. Think of what would happen even if some of that money was used not only to tell others about Jesus but to take care of the needy people of this world.
It is much more tangible to show a building for someone to give money but is this really what God had in mind with His church? We have all of these church buildings across the country and we have people visit them at most twice or three times a week to worship God. And we have millions of people on this earth who are suffering and dieing, is this obedience? How are we going to be judged individually by God about our resources. If we have a job that pays more than $1 a day than we are in the wealthiest 33% of the world. Money is not the issue why there are so many in and out of this country hurting and dying. It is because we as Christians think it is much more of a spiritual act to build huge buildings to tell God how much we love and care for Him. I am sure God will definitely give us some credit for doing this.
It was a very intriguing story, one that many of us growing up in middle class America are not aware of. Is the problem we face one of lack of resources? Are the reason people live like this because there isn’t enough in America and the world to go around? Or is it the fact that some hord all the resources and leave the rest of the world to fend for themselves.
This theme of hording resources seems to be a common theme of my life of late. In Sunday school yesterday we read Genesis 26 as we are reading through Genesis and the hording issue in this chapter is water. There was enough water to go around but people were jealous and started filling each others wells up and trying to make issues for the others. I watched the movie Blood Diamond on saturday. An unbelievable story of what the westerns world’s greed and the problems it causes along the way.
I am more and more sad we as Americans carry themselves. Unfortunately I see so much more of a similarities between our version of Christianity and the things Jesus proclaimed against.
In the first chapter of Pagan Christianity? The amount of money spent on church buildings is astronomical. Think of what would happen even if some of that money was used not only to tell others about Jesus but to take care of the needy people of this world.
It is much more tangible to show a building for someone to give money but is this really what God had in mind with His church? We have all of these church buildings across the country and we have people visit them at most twice or three times a week to worship God. And we have millions of people on this earth who are suffering and dieing, is this obedience? How are we going to be judged individually by God about our resources. If we have a job that pays more than $1 a day than we are in the wealthiest 33% of the world. Money is not the issue why there are so many in and out of this country hurting and dying. It is because we as Christians think it is much more of a spiritual act to build huge buildings to tell God how much we love and care for Him. I am sure God will definitely give us some credit for doing this.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Life is like a box of puzzle pieces
I am at a place of life where very little about my life makes sense. In the use of an analogy I feel like I have a box of puzzle pieces from about 10 different puzzles. It doesn’t make any sense nor can the pieces be assembled in a way that actually makes anything.
It has been a rough four months with me commuting from Valpo to Goshen without our house selling. There have been two factors that have made this a little easier: those are my parents had a house that they had bought that they weren’t living in and the other is that the pastor and I have gotten along great and had been working on different projects and I felt worked real well together.
Last week my parents moved in (planned) and the pastor announced he was leaving (unplanned). Now I have a house in valpo, sleeping on the floor of my parents house in Goshen, and the unknown fact of who is going to take over at the church. None of these pieces fit together at all. I am just a little bit frustrated. Not at any person, but rather at the situations.
I am not going to begin speculating at what the future holds because I have no idea of anything. There is a pretty good chance I will not stay at the church after the pastor leaves. There is just something about doing ministry with people you have chemistry and a natural vision with and if that isn’t there or either side than it doesn’t do much good to stay. Ministry is hard enough as it and it is ten times worse when you are doing it in a unhealthy team situation.Is my house not selling for a reason? I am very much a control freak when it comes to my future and situations that I am in. Of course this is God’s way of having me develop trust but I have to say it isn’t funny any more. I hate living in limbo without knowing what is going to happen next. I feel like I have lived this way since I left Real Life over 2 years ago. This doesn’t make any sense and I can echo the sentiments of a girl in a youth group meeting I had many years ago whose prayer request was for a friend who had std and her response was and she is not happy about it. I am really not happy about this whole situation. I just wish my puzzle pieces were from the same puzzle.
It has been a rough four months with me commuting from Valpo to Goshen without our house selling. There have been two factors that have made this a little easier: those are my parents had a house that they had bought that they weren’t living in and the other is that the pastor and I have gotten along great and had been working on different projects and I felt worked real well together.
Last week my parents moved in (planned) and the pastor announced he was leaving (unplanned). Now I have a house in valpo, sleeping on the floor of my parents house in Goshen, and the unknown fact of who is going to take over at the church. None of these pieces fit together at all. I am just a little bit frustrated. Not at any person, but rather at the situations.
I am not going to begin speculating at what the future holds because I have no idea of anything. There is a pretty good chance I will not stay at the church after the pastor leaves. There is just something about doing ministry with people you have chemistry and a natural vision with and if that isn’t there or either side than it doesn’t do much good to stay. Ministry is hard enough as it and it is ten times worse when you are doing it in a unhealthy team situation.Is my house not selling for a reason? I am very much a control freak when it comes to my future and situations that I am in. Of course this is God’s way of having me develop trust but I have to say it isn’t funny any more. I hate living in limbo without knowing what is going to happen next. I feel like I have lived this way since I left Real Life over 2 years ago. This doesn’t make any sense and I can echo the sentiments of a girl in a youth group meeting I had many years ago whose prayer request was for a friend who had std and her response was and she is not happy about it. I am really not happy about this whole situation. I just wish my puzzle pieces were from the same puzzle.
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