LIFE IN BEN'S WORLD

What about the active learners?

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 16:22:00 +0000

There was a book I read a few years back called "why men hate church." There were some good points in the book and some that were so-so. The parts I got the most out of could have been called why active learners hate church..

I see this being a segment of the population that is missing/under represented in the American church. Church in general does a great job of reaching people who learn by reading, and instruction. Maybe 10-25% of the population are these active learners. Many have tried the church and left they have ethier dismissed God or joined para church organizations.

The quesion is what can we do to reach people like this?

These are generalizations.Active learners consist of men, woman, young, old, business owners, philanthropists, mill workers, inventors etc, etc.

Message-
The message of Jesus is something that resinates with active learners.
The way He lived His life is something to literaly be emulated.
If the message is diminished/dumbed down or made easy it does not appeal to this group.
This group wants a message that they can live and die for.
This group will smuggle bibles into communist countries, move into trailer parks, would even falsely be imprisioned if it would help others find Christ.
Bottom line they want to be challenged in such a way that will change the world.
Challenge them to live on 10% and give 90% of their money away.
Many of these people are rich business people who are looking for a worthy cause to give their money too. (no a building project is not a worthy cause).
Unleash them on a city/community/country/world and watch what they can do.
Impossible projects energize them.
They will think creatively outside the box.
Current idea: How do we create a situation where we can get all the prostitutes off of the streets of Gary for one night? (You can tell if you are an active learner if this idea scares you or if you think how could this happen).

Learning-
This group learns different than the rest of our classmates in school.
This group learns by doing as oppossed to listening, and books.
They learn by doing
Their hands and our hearts may change before our head knowledge changes.

Great attributes: (generalizations)
Faith- this group is going to live by faith.
Fear- Fear is going to play very little in the decision making process.
Self-motivated- This group does not need much if any motivation outside of themselves.
Energy- This group has energy it is either going to be used for God or self.
Passion- This group is filled with passion and lives it out.
Spontanious- On a moments motice an individual would drop everything for people in need(i.e. hurricanes, natural disaster) etc.

Weakness:
many times they speak with passion and not logic- Active learners will say dumb things but the motivation is passion.
No patience- active leaners will have very little patience with others who don't see the world the way they do.
Disdain for those who don't live like this-
Meetings are not viewed with hope.- Most active learners are not going to enjoy meetings.
Messy- There may be colleteral damage with any activity they do.
Jump before thinking- Does not need all the details before jumping in.
Realities:
1. These type of people are much tougher to control than the average church person.
2. They generally scare the 75% of the population who govern American Churches.
3. In general,churches try to change these people to be like the rest of the church.
4. There are always going to be balance issues between the active learners and the rest of the church.
5. It may be because of the churches lack to imbrace these types of people- 20somethings and men's ministry struggle in most churches.
6. This group is going to be the front line soldiers and they are going to much more comfortable outside the church than inside. But they will share there faith wherever they go.
7. These type of people are may notto be great"vounteers" in church ministries. It doesn't have enough risk/reward for most of this group.
8. They would be willing to take a bullet for Jesus but yet may quit when the rest of church critizes and tries to make them tame.
9. These people are not going to mature into "normal" church people this is the way God has created these people. Of course there are rough edges that God will smooth out, but at the core this is the way God created them.
10. They will leave quickly when they see that they are not needed,wanted, or the vision of the church is too small.

Bottom line there needs to be balance between these type of people and the 75% of the population who endwells the current church.

Active learners form the Bible would include-
Peter- He was so willing to act and think afterwards
Paul- He was so willing to go wherever without worrying about the consequences.
Noah- willing to build an ark even when it didn't make logical sense.

This group of people needs to be an important part of the church body, the normal church has to realize they are not going to be like them and the active learners have to learn that they can't leave or do this on their own.

Sacrificial loving/living

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:08:00 +0000

What if Jesus was serious when He said if you have two coats give to the one without? What if James was serious when he wrote true religion is looking after the widows and the orphans and keeping oneself from being polluted by the world? What if what Jesus said was true whatever we have done for the least of these we have done to Him? What if John was right when he said how can we say we love a God who we have never seen yet we hate our brother who we have seen?

I am going on the premise that this is true. That when one puts their faith in God, everything in life changes. That caring for the poor, needy, fatherless, and widows is not optional.

As Americans our culture is currently changing. 10% unemployment and probably closer to 17% under employed and those who have given up. What if America becomes the worlds 4 largest economy instead of the first? Those Christians who \ think this may happen also think that will bring the second coming. What if the American economy continues to falter and God doesn't come back? Will this end our faith? What exactly is our faith in?

As I have been with only a part time job for a couple of months, I have applied at many othersand have been turned down. There are a couple of ways of looking at this problem.
1.Logically- 10% of the country is looking for these same jobs and I have heard of over 300 applying for the same jobs I am applying at. I have had interviews where I am more qualified than the person giving the interviews. Many of the entry level jobs I have applied for are looking for fresh out of high school people. Someone they can boss around and not worry about. A friend of mine who is in the same boat dumbed down his resume and got a job.

2. The God factor- My wife and I can live on the amount of money we are currently making. Our outgo is very low. We have used our money wisely over the course of our marriage and the only bill we have is our mortgage. We don't like to live frugually or deprive ourselves of American pleasures but there is no reason why we can't live. Our house is not going to go into forclosure now or anytime soon. We have two running cars that are paid for. We have a savings.
Yet there is this tug and pull that money is going to be needed. We want to continue to build for retirement, continue to put money away for savings and feel safe. There is nothing wrong with these thought but us Americans worship this. for some reason we don't think when Jesus was speaking to the rich young ruler or the rich he was talking to us.

I have struggled and will continue to struggle seeing others make more money than I and move up the Christian and the corporate ladder. I am sure they are doing what God wants them to do and that is great.

Unfortunately I personally feel convicted. I feel that I do not live the sacrificial life that God asks of me. I personally believe that the time and effort I have spent recently in obeying God is worth ten times more than if I have to sacrifice cable tv or whatever.

I know our family could live on a whole lot less. We don't want to and Iam still feeling convicted about it.

There is freedom in God leading us here. This is not legalism or something I feel that is burden it is a freedom to realize I am not on this earth to make every last penny I can. Of course there is a balance but if I am to take Jesus at his words. he is a lot more concerned about me following him than making a nice, same decent living.

I was talking yesterday about a conversation Jesus had with his disciples paraphrased:

Disciples: yes we want to follow you.

Jesus: are you really sure?

Disciples: of course we are sure.

Jesus: Think about it for a second, I don't even have a pillow to lay my head down on.

Why don't we think this applies to us?

Instead of two coats and giving one away to someone who need it? Why do we think this doesn't apply to our cars.

I would love to think that the American dream/ladder is parrallel to Jesus' teaching and His ways.

Unfortunately I think they run perpendicular many times.

I wish I could live the American dream but unfortunately I am feeling pretty convinced tht Jesus was talking to me when he was talking to the rich.

Two great books are
Francis Chan's: Crazy Love
Shane Claiborne: Irresistible Revolution

Our Christian Brothers in Michigan City

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 22:44:00 +0000

As many of you know there was 3 men who escaped Michigan City Prison a few weeks ago. Due to this escape all the inmates have been in lock down since this and they will be in lock down for the forseeable future. (It could be up to six months). What this means is that none of the volunteers, pastors, or families get to come and visit these men. All the programs and visits are canceled.In talking with a friend of mine who has been recieving letters from some of these men there is some dispair and anguish amoung the Christian population.My request of you is two fold: 1. Pray for our brothers in Christ who are in there. 2. We need some people to write encouraging letters to these men.If you are interested in writing a letter: facebook me back and I will give you the name and number for an inmate.We will not use your home address as the return address.Ben

In the sanctuary of outcasts

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 22:43:00 +0000

Over the past month I have been reading "In the sanctuary of outcasts" Neil White. This autobiography of an outstanding man from the south who had an ideal life until he was involved in a white collar crime. He was sentenced to Carville institution in Louisana. Carville was not only a prison but also the last leper colony in America. The events in the book took place in the 1990s.At the end of the book there are a couple of quotes that had an impact on me:Neil the author had been given some advice when leaving this institution. he had been told by one of the lepers to find a church when he got out. Neil had been a church goer before being sentenced. But it was a church much like most of us middle to upper class white people go to. "I would take Ella (the lepers) advice and find a church. Not just any church. A place like the church at Carville (the institution). Were parishioners were broken and chipped and cracked. A place to go when I needed help. A place to ask forgiveness. A sacred place where people were not comsumed with image or money.I don't know if a church like that existed, but if it did I would go. And I would pray. Not the kind of prayers I used to say for miracles or money or advancement. I would pray for something more simple. I would pray for recollection- pray that I would never forget."When we are touched, broken, or realize the depth of pain and suffering what do we do? Do we try and forget the images and scenes that caused this brokeness? Pain and hurt is something we tend to run from. We tend to want to live in our "happy place" away from this. When we do this it is very easy for us to become apathetic, and caught up more in our rituals more than our compassion for others.Recently I taught a class on prison ministry. Prison ministry is tough going inside and helping criminals. It is ten times harder to help once they get out of prison. Very few people want these people as neighbors, friends, employees, or fellow church members. Is there a chance that these men could revert to past behaviors? Absolutely. Is all those that change in prison authentic? No more than those that find religon in the outside world. I much like Neil long for the same type of church. The only way this happens is when we become authentic and remember that we are all in the same boat and realize no matter how rich or poor we are we are all broken,chipped, and cracked.

A video from some of my students in Indiana State Prison

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 00:49:00 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsHNCXtvgqo

This is a video taken during a service in Michigan City at the prison. Many of the people in the video were from my class that I taught last year.

Interview with Author from UnChristian

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:27:00 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMflS_pRnVo

A weekend of rain

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 19:39:00 +0000

With more rain coming down this weekend in the northwest Indiana area than any other time in 150 years it made for quite a bit of trouble. While inside a grocery store on sunday the loudspeaker came on and the announcement was "whoever has the red s-10 truck in the employee parking lot please move it or else you are going to be unable to get into it."
There was a story that summed up this weekend was in our local newspaper www.nwitimes.com was about a school teacher, his dad trying to save a boy from a rain filled area. Fortunately the boy was alive and taken to the hospital, unfortunately the teacher and his dad died in the rescue effort. Although I do not know anything about these men personally I do know that when weighing options in life they had made their decisions a long time before they tried to save this boy.
As we order priorities in life where do we put others? I went to a prayer breakfast this morning with Lloyd Ogilive (former senate chaplain) as the keynote speaker. He shared how when praying for new senator's he would pray that they would put God first, family second, nation third, and last on the list personal ambitions. How would life change if we contiunually live this way? Whether we have the influence of the those in the U.S. Senate or just those in our immediate family we all have an ability to put serve and sacrifice for others.
As we can only imagine what is going to happen with the American financial situation, where are our priorities and where do we have our agendas? The answers to tough questions like this seem to get easier when we have previously arranged our priorities and realized that putting self ambition first is not going to be the answer.

A determined runner

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:49:00 +0000

This past weekend Valparaiso celebrated it's most famous alumni Orville Redenbacker with it's popcorn festival. Like many other small Indiana town festivals it mixes some part of it's heritage. Valpraiso not only has a parade, venders, food, a balloon launch but it also has a 5 mile race and it's marquee event called the lil' kernal race.
From general estimates anywhere from 300-500 kids ages 2-9 race down Valparaiso mainstreet in age groups and heats of 20-25.The 7-9 race 300 yards, 4-6 200 yards and then 2-3 100 yards. It is a run in front of family,friends, valpoites, and those who wanted to stake their claims out for the parade.
Ayden had run in the this event once before we had held out Kyle and Ellyse due to not knowing how they would handle it. This year we decided to sign them all up to run. Although Kyle is 8 we thought it best if he just ran the 200 yards with Ellyse. We had no idea how he would do, we thought worse case scenerio he would trip, fall, and be bloody the rest of the day.
When it was the 6 year olds time to shine, Jill pushed through the crowds to get Ellyse and Kyle into position. They reached the starting line with every other parent in northwest indiana who thought their child is going to be the next Usain Bolt. There were racer helpers who would escort the kids to the finish line and Jill asked one of them to occompany Kyle. The race started out and all the kids darted down the road. All the kids that is but Kyle. He tried to run as fast as his legs would take him, but he doesn't move to well because of the muscle Dystrophy. Soon it was very evident that this was going to take a while. When he was a quarter of the way to through the course Ellyse and the rest of the kids finished. Kyle was very determined to finish, although his legs are not strong his will made up for it. As he labored the remaining 150 yards a couple of other helpers joined in encouraging him to finish. I thnk there was very little doubt in Kyle's mind that he couldn't finish. As he neared the finishing line Jill's uncle told the announcer that the little boy's name on the course was Kyle. He began cheering on the loudspeaker for Kyle and immediately the throughs of people gathered began to follow.
As they were cheering his name a huge smile came across Kyle's face and with all the energy he could muster he ran the remaining 25 yards as fast as his legs would carry him.

Do I really miss people?

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:42:00 +0000

In taking my daughter to school I encounter a girl who attends the church gathering that I am apart of. I had talked to her last Sunday and realized she was not in attendance yesterday. My first thought today when I saw her was to say I missed you at our church service yesterday. Then I began processing it in my head, did I really miss her? Would I have talked to her? If I tell her I miss her will the expectations be different next time she comes to the gathering?
In general Christians make a lot of empty promises to other people in their church communities. I am sure this happens to us in other places of the world but I personally notice it quite a bit in the Christian community. We are quick to ask someone how he or she is doing, or say nice little sayings like God is in control, or we are praying for you. The question is not do we actually care, because I know deep down most of us have hearts that deeply care about others. The problem is most of us as human’s want to fix the problem. Christian cliché’s are great; every time there is a problem in my life I have many well-meaning people who send me the same cliché’s. Is there anything wrong with this? No, this is our best attempt to speak on God’s behalf and give others peace. In thinking about the words Jesus gave to hurting people most of them were much more practical than religious fluff. I am sorry the last words in the world I want to hear when my mother in law was diagnosed with cancer, or Kyle with MD is “it’s God’s will.” It is taking all I can to make it through this and I am envisioning God crying with me but when I hear the word’s it’s God’s will I am visualizing a God sitting in heaven with His arms folded saying buck up and deal with it.
When was the last time when someone in the Christian community just sat and cried with you when you were going through a struggle? When was the last you asked someone how they were doing you sat and listened without giving advice? When was the last time someone came up and started talking about how they had a goiter removed, boils, and some strange fungus when we listened and didn’t run away? So going back to this girl who I encountered today I would love to tell her we missed her at church, but I have to ask myself the question am I ready for a persons expectations to change? Am I ready for a person to expect that people will ask “how are you?” and then listen for an answer? Are our churches ready for these types of expectations or we content with fluff answers and little compassion.

Personal update

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:42:00 +0000

Personal Update
I like to write about concepts than about my personal life, but I would like to share an update what has been going on with Jill and I over the past month.
A change has been in the making since August 1, that day Jill’s mom was diagnosed with stage 3-breast cancer. This was out of the blue and totally unexpected. With me driving three times a week to Goshen we decided that this was not going to work with Jill needing and wanting to spend more time with her mom.
It was bittersweet leaving Goshen. This had never worked out the way we had planned, we had not sold our house. The pastor who I had felt a connection with had left. Even with all that there had been many people who I had grown close to. August 24 was my last Sunday there. Now to what next ? I had thought a lot about what to do, I really wanted to stay in ministry but I wanted something that was in the valpo area and also that was flexible enough to allow Jill to spend as much time as possible with her mom. In a complete working out of many factors and God answering prayers. I was contacted by a pastor from Jill’s home church, this pastor is also the former president of Taylor while I attended. They had a interm opening for a campus pastor for a emerging generation video venue service. After a couple conversations I realized this is what I was praying for, something that was flexible but yet also doing something I am passionate about. It works for this time and I still have no idea what the future will hold but I believe God has worked out all these circumstances. I have written in the past about feeling like not even having the same puzzle pieces but now it seems to have all come together and that is a huge answer to prayer.

Maslow and the church

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:14:00 +0000

In the 1950s renown psychologist Abraham Maslow boiled down volumes of research into a list of needs and desires that people try to fulfill:

Transendence: help others realize their potential.
Self actualization: realize our own potential, self-fulfillment, peak experience.
Aesthetic: symmetry, order, beauty, balance
Learning: know, understand, and mentally connect
Esteem: achieve, be competent, gain approval, independence, status
Belonging: love, family, friends, affection
Security: protection, safety, stability
Physical: hunger, thirst, bodily comfort

These were first shown as a hierocracy with filling each need in an order, starting with physical and as we have each need met we move until we fulfill our transendence need. Subsequent research has shown that it isn’t so much a hierocracy but rather having these needs met simultaneously.

Let’s say that Maslow was right in diagnosing the basic human needs and that these 8 cover the majority of our worries and fears. Let’s say that no matter what the culture is we humans have the same core needs. It may look different in context but basically we are all the same with our plight as humans.

I was reminded of Maslow recently in reading through made to stick by Chip and Dan Heath and started thinking of how this would apply to Christianity and the church.

I have read many books on outreach and evangelism in the church, in thinking back over these readings I have read many on the church filling one of the specific aspects. Such as the need to belong or for meeting the physical need. Is it possible for a church to be cognizant of fulfilling each of these aspects? There are individual churches that may be real good at one or two of these while neglecting others. Maybe churches should only focus on or two of these.

Are we happy and content with the types of people who come or are involved with our churches? I have talked to many pastors who are trying to reach a different age group or niche group. The most common age group of people they are trying to reach is the 20/30 something family. The question is, is the church even coming close to meeting the felt need of this age group? Being in this age group I would say the number one need is someone to watch and protect my children. We went to a church that there two rooms of children church one for anyone under two and the other for ages 3-6th grade. My kids were frightened and didn’t want to go back because they were with much older kids.
Or churches that don’t have a strong musical base, is it because they don’t embrace the aesthetics’?

The question is, was Maslow right with his evaluation about people? If we were to look at the life of Jesus and the way he recruited people he used many of these needs to draw them in. The interesting part of American Christianity is that we have thought the draw for so long to Christianity has been the fear of hell. Yes, there are some people who want the thought of eternal security. This may be why the churches are filled with same types of people, those who want safety. What about the rest of us, what about those who want to have their adventure quota filled? What about those who want to invest in others? There was a place in Jesus life for those who had these other needs and I believe there is a place in the church for them also, but we need to challenge and present Christianity in away that is more appealing than join so you can escape hell.

Is the American church relevant?

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 16:02:00 +0000

Yes the word relevant has been overused and this topic may have been dissected from every which way of late but I hope to add to the conversation with this peace.
It is always exciting being part of an organization that is being talked about and respected in circles that are outside the inner circle. It was exciting to me to see Rick Warren do the talk with both Obama and McCain a couple weeks ago on national television. Warren having the ability to pull off the first joint meeting was amazing. That a pastor would have the influence to do this is great. Yes we may not want Rick Warren as the spokesman for the American church but if the general American people see him as someone credible than there can be hope for us.
When was the last time other than someone in our circle of Christian friends and church members cared what went on in our churches? When was the last time someone other than the Christians in the community came to church because of our clever church signs or read the religious pages of the newspapers? I am sure it occasionally happens but does this get the attention of the community as a whole.
Yes the churches have begun to do a lot more with national and worldwide crises. There has been some great press with hurricane Katrina, and other tragedies. Does the community care when we have Bible School, if we have a guest speaker, or having a church wide picnic? All of these are done in the name of evangelism. I feel I can speak as somewhat of an expert on this topic because I have been to hundreds of these events. The vast majority of these do not attract anyone other Christians. Why? Is it because we are doing events that we enjoy not what the community as a whole cares about? Do we even know what would be relevant to people who are not like us?
I have heard many ministries and churches who want to reach Valpo University. I always ask what are you going to do? Start a Bible study, offer to pick up college kids in vans, put up fliers in the union, or have a Christian radio show at the station. Nothing wrong with any of these ideas, it will attract the Christians. In order to reach anyone who is either a dechurched or unchurched student these ideas are probably not going to work. What if the plan was to deliver pizza to every dorm room with a person from the church delivering it saying “hey we are from such and such church and we wanted you to know we cared about you, here is is our email address and if you have anything you need please contact us.” Would this cost money? Yes, would it be worth it, yes if we are trying to reach the unchurched or dechurched.
Going back to my neighbors who I have enjoyed spending time with, what do they do on Sunday mornings? Mow their lawns. Why do they do this on Sunday mornings? Is it because this is the only time they can do it because they work 6 days a week to support their families? If they are like us their schedules are just as crazy as the rest of us and they have their times maxed out. If I expect them to come to church how can I lighten their load? Can I volunteer to watch their kids, or mow their lawns?
I believe we are in the middle of relevance we have huge potential of being relevant but it is going to work and sacrifice on our part. Spirituality doesn’t always mean sitting in our houses and churches praying and reading our Bible.

What does it mean to be different?

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 13:53:00 +0000

After my last post I had many comments and opinions. They run the spectrum of agreement and disagreement. I am sure this is a much more important topic to us in the American church than anywhere else.
Let me preface anything I say from here on by saying because of my current position I am refraining from alcohol.
Alcohol is just a small tip of the ice berg of the relationship Christians have with the cultural and those around us who are not of the same belief as us.
Last night I spent time with my neighbors and one of the neighbors hasn’t spent to much time around me much. He goes to church but I have no idea what his commitment is to his faith. As the other neighbors were drinking and shooting the breeze, this new neighbor was different than the rest. He still drank, smoked, and cussed but every once a while he would throw a religious phrase into the conversation. He was trying to impress me in some way but it was very disingenuous and strange. I was trying to figure out why he found the need to act this way? Is this what we have taught in church? Have we really never reached into the core of the problems but rather just tried to give people ways of covering up deeper problems by giving them clever phrases?
Is smoking, drinking, or cussing any of my neighbors biggest problems? Absolutely not, every single one of them have kids, wives, and families they worry about. Last night we talked at length about how we “deal” with wives. How we are embarrassed if our kids act up at restraints or get in trouble at school.
I think our biggest problems as Christians we can never get to core issues with non-Christians because we can never get over small surface issues. We can never get to the core problems of sexuality because we are so hung up in the acts of it. Last week I ran into one of my former youth group members and she introduced me to her girlfriend.
Immediately the people I was with started snickering and criticizing as soon as she left. My heart hurt for this girl, no I don’t agree with her life choices, but what is really going on in her life? Is the biggest issue that she chooses to be with a girl rather than a boy? Probably not, her biggest issue maybe the hurt that led her to this decision. Homosexuality in my mind is a surface issue rather than the root problem.
If I want to be different I am going to work hard at having the fruit of the spirit evident in my life and try patiently with dealing with others. Anybody can criticize, complain, boycott, or picket. It is a whole lot harder if we decide to get involved and be the light.Remember alcohol, smoking or whatever is just a coping mechanism to deal with the stress of the world. Biting my fingernails is one coping mechanism and it might not be looked down on as much but it still isn’t extremely healthy.

To drink or not to drink?

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 13:56:00 +0000

Why is alcohal such a big deal in the American church? Actually I know and came from a dry house. We never had alcohal in the house and I remember looking down on other people from our church who did drink. It is frowned on in many evangelical circles, and I have never really drank because of working with teens and being an example. I have been re evaluating my stance and my attitude toward this subject. In my reasoning previous it was always with the thought of avoiding the appearance of evil. Is alcohal evil? Of course the abuse of alcohal is evil, but so is the abuse of money, over eating, and many other issues that us American Christian's are good at.
I was having a conversation recently with a pastor friend of mine and we were talking about reaching our neighbors and into our neighborhoods. The question of alcohal came up, my neighbors stand in our neighborhoods on a nightly basis and drink beer. I have turned them down everytime they asked. Of course in my self righteous stance I am doing the right thing. The quesion is am I doing the right thing? As my conversation with this pastor progressed he told how he had done the same thing with his neighbors in a previous neighborhood, after the third time someone had asked if he wanted a beer, before he could answer one of his other neighbors said"no he is too good for our beer."
I have been thinking a lot about this since this conversation. If my neighbor brought me some food that they had slaved over and wanted me to eat it would I stick up my nose and say that smells funny or I am too good to eat your food? I am not going to just use this as a justification to drink? No but I am thinking that the general attitude of turning down beer from our neighbors may be a way of us giving the attidue and the air that we are better than them. The problem is we may actually think we are.

Observations from a people watcher.

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:58:00 +0000

I was able to do one of my favorite activities last night, I went to a baseball game. In trying to count the games I have been to in the last five years it has been over 20. The reason I enjoy baseball games so much is not for the game itself but rather the people I meet and observe. In New York last month when I went to Yankee stadium a twenty something introduced himself as "steriod man" and he was a fellow Red Sox fan and said that if anyone messed with me he would take care of me.
I have shared in earlier blogs about the type of people I meet in stadiums and the type of conversations that happen. Last year in Cleveland I was invited to a strip club (which I turned down) and as a way of insulting us red sox fans chest hair was thrown at us. Is this normal behaivor or an excuse for too much alcohal? Last night the question was brought back up in my mind. Does alcohal just bring to light who we really are or does it impare our judgements?
I was sitting next to my brother in law and this twenty something blonde sat next to us in the isle we were sitting in. She was a red sox fan and tried making small talk with my brother in law and me. She was a little annoying and not someone that I wanted to spend the whole night having a conversation with so I partially ignored her. There were four guys in front of us who were from Boston on business who were in the their late twenties early thirties. I had overheard one mention something about being married early in the game, but that didn't seem to matter as the night went on and their interest in the blonde became more evident. As the beer kept coming the conversations got stronger I was wondering where this would go. It went to phone numbers being exchanged and plans to meet up at a bar. Why?
Observing human behaivor is very interesting. Do we all desire theforbidden aspects of life? Do any of us have the possibility of doing something life damaging on a regular basis?
As Christians I have this fear that many deny that these possibilities even exsist. I am going to be honest and say I know that I have the possibility of doing something that may ruin my life. Is this something that I ever want to happen? Absolutely not and I am going to do everything in my power not to. Unfortunately I have heard and seen to many stories of people who thought they were invincible and who ended up broken. This is so sad and I dont ever want to see anyone else go through this.
How is this story going to end for the married man? It is sad to think of all the people he may hurt beause of his decisions.

Patience and Perseverence

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:55:00 +0000

I want immediate success, if not time is wasting and off to the next venture. In recent weeks I have been reminded and been working on the art of perseverence. In reading a book on Cal Ripken and some of the keys to his longevity in the game of baseball he shares his keys to life. His first key is perseverence, and fighting through all the time he wanted to give up. One of the aspects that really hit me was that he would practice longer than anyone else. He would always be the last one to leave the field. It has been said about many great athletes that they were excellent in the area of perseverence. I am not so good being someone who perseveres.
This morning Seth Godin's blog(http://sethgodin.typepad.com/) talks about perseverence and patience. The easy part is coming up with an idea and even spending a week on an idea. The hard part is seeing ideas through to success. In watching the olympics this week I think it would be great to be an olympian. Then the reality of the sacrifice and commitment comes in. Do I want to spent the next four years perfecting my badmitton skills? Do I want to run every day and only focus on badmitton?
One of my problems and always has been is the desire to do many things and have new adventures. I am working on the whole focusing aspect of life and trying to persevere at a few things than trying and starting many things.
This is what I am trying to work on today, tomorrow, and the rest of my life.

Over looked leadership article

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:39:00 +0000

A friend of mine from college recently sent me a link from leadershipjournal.net, I want to share it because it resinated with my thinking
http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2008/002/7.32.html

Made to stick

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:00:00 +0000

I have struggled over the past few months with reading. I have started a few books but have not had the dedication or determination to finish them. One of the books that I started reading and have recently picked back up is "Made to stick" by dan heath. This book was not written with pastors specifically in mind but there is a lot of information that could really be of help.
The basic premise of the book is what message are you getting out? Whether someone is a teacher,salesman, pastor, or whatever we all have a message that we are trying to get out. The question is is our message getting to our audience? Is our message delivered in such a way that people are desiring to learn more about what we say? Is our message said in such a way that people are digging for themselves even more than what we are giving them?
Unfortunately I have been in so many church services that do not have a plan or a specific theme for the day. It may have an overarching theme of God or God's love but not something that we could summerize in a sentence. In Bible school as a kid I always remember that their was one specific Bible verse and every thing about that day focused on the lesson that the Bible verse taught. It was focused on teaching one principle. Unfortunately we have listened and possibly preached sermons that afterwards we have may left scratching our heads about was the point of that. As the great line from Billy Madison said "Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it." Is this what more people are thinking when they leave a service ? I highly value pastors and I think that the message we have is so important and I think sometimes we don't realize the importance of how we say it is.

My church isn't deep enough for me

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 18:20:00 +0000

This was a comment that a 20 something told me when he was describing his church during a conversation at the fair last week. This isn’t the first time I have heard this comment nor will it be the last. What does the comment really mean? Is it the lack of knowledge that a church or pastor has? Is it the void of the charismatic aspect of a particular service? Or is it lack of challenge or high expectations of its members?
As I conversed with this young gentleman to find out exactly what he meant his problem was the lack of charismatic elements in his church service. This conversation sparked my own thinking of mainline churches and even seeker sensitive services. The church isn’t deep enough seems to be a criticism that is leveled against these types of churches. There is an argument that can be made that a church is not responsible for each person’s spiritual growth. Which I agree with but I do think that the church can facilitate growth and can create environments where people can change.
Have these types of churches become safe to the point of their own detriment? Is safety a word that needs to describe the church? Yes in the context of children, but in the context of the way we are presented the Christian lifestyle probably not.
When one is looking for adventure, a dangerous lifestyle, or a life-changing mission does one look to Christianity or the church to help fulfill this goal? For those who have these types of goals in life the New Testament church would be a great place for them to fit into. Where would they fit now? I recently had a friend who helped smuggle Bibles into a communist country as part of a group of about 7. What if churches began to offer missions trips that offered the chance to change the world but had the possibility of prison or death what would happen? Our churches would begin to change the type of people who felt comfortable there. Our memberships may go down, but the dedication may go way up.

What do kids know?

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:09:00 +0000

What do kids know?

My kids make me laugh and amaze me on a regular basis. I took the three of them to a softball game last night and they were asking all sorts of questions about the umpire, for some reason Kyle asked if he could bump the umpire? Ellyse points to the umpire and says who is the old man in the blue?
They have also been asking different spiritual questions of late, I was listening to a pastor one day this week driving to Goshen and he was talking about the Luke 17 passage where Jesus gives warning to those who cause children to stumble. This pastor had a little different take on this passage than most. Most pastors who have talked about this as an issue of sin and us teaching correct theology. Which there is probably a lot of truth for this. What about our teaching about faith and trusting in God? It seems that kids have a much better grasp on this than us adult do. Are we going to be held responsible for trying and teach our kids that we can be self reliant and to be able to do things on our own?
I think that kids may be the better teachers on this subject than us adults are. Yesterday Jill and Kyle were having a discussion in the kitchen and we have a magnet with Jesus on it on the frig. Kyle asked a question about Jesus and Jill was explaining who Jesus was and how he died and saved us from death. We never know how kids will respond to conversations like this we have a formula that we think they will follow but they never do. Kyle’s response to this conversation shocked me, he looked at Jill and said Jesus is saving my muscles. We haven’t had many discussions about muscular dystrophy with him and I don’t really know how much he knows about the disease. He does know one thin though that Jesus can heal his muscles. Kids sometimes don’t need as much from us as we need from them.

new york city missions trip video

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 01:15:00 +0000

This was made by Jeff Chupp.

New York City Trip

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:30:00 +0000

I have mixed feelings about missions trips. On the one hand they are expensive, seem to do little to the culture we go into, and a little touristy. The flip side is what happens to the people who go on these trips.
Last week we had our trip to New York City. The question was asked the first night we were there “what do you want God to do on this trip?” My first thought was to get through this week. In a lot of ways we had already accomplished the goal we had gotten these kids to come here. This group of kid’s only months earlier had been scared to death to go Christmas caroling in our church neighborhood. So when the question was asked what do you want God to do? I was trying to be realistic; we knew that we were going to be serving at a soup kitchen, ministering to homeless, prayer walks, and prayer booths. I was trying to think what is possible; if they just participate I will feel this is an accomplishment.
Complaining is a defense mechanism, when we are fearful of the unknown we tend to criticize and make excuses to not participate or avoid the new event. Complaining is a big issue on missions trips for the teens and the leaders alike. As the leader I try and prepare myself as best I can for this attack. If I just allow the complaining to be the focal point we will all leave the trip exactly as we came and not allow ourselves to be changed.
So when we first arrived in New York the complaining stared, the rooms were cramped and hot. We had driven a long way (we did see a dead bear on the side of the road in Penn) and we were starting to get on each other’s nerves. The biggest issue on the trip was the no cell phone during ministry time rule. That is the one I had been preparing them for. I didn’t know if they could handle that one or not. The first night we had a little gripe session and it was challenged to them that if they were going to get something out of this trip that we don’t grumble and complain. To everyone in the groups credit the grumbling and complaining was almost non-existent through the trip.
The group exceeded even my best-case scenarios. The first day we had some change of plans because of too many people at the mission, the group leader asked if we would be willing to pray and pass out fliers with people on the streets. This was our first real test if we could not grumble and complain if we could make it by this then we would be fine. The group passed with flying colors. One of the teen boys came up to me half way through the day beaming and shared how he had made a girl cry. I wanted to know why this was a good thing, he then shared how he had asked her about her life and she was so moved when he asked her to pray that she started crying. I couldn’t believe how quick these kids jumped into to serve and love on people. It was this same story every day of the trip. Teens and adults coming up and sharing how they had prayed and talked to people. I was amazed at what God did in each and everyone of their lives.
We were at a prayer booth one of the days and I was with a teen who has never prayed out loud in the time I have been here and isn’t the most outgoing person. We were standing by the prayer booth when this older woman who had problems with her eyesight approached us. She wanted prayer that God would heal her. I asked if I could pray with her and she looked at the teen I was with and said I want him to pray for me. He then said a simple prayer of healing on this woman’s eyes. I was crying because I could not believe how much God had worked in this teens life to even be willing to do this. Seeing and hearing each teen talk about what God did in them will be a moment that I will never forget, hearing passion where there use to be apathy, courage where there use to be fear, love were there use to be indifference, and faith where there use to be doubt. We may not have changed New York, but New York changed us.

Circumstances

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:43:00 +0000

I was shaken back to reality during sunday school last sunday. We have been studying Genesis over the past months and this week we read through the chapter of Joseph and his landing in prison. I had to ask myself docircumstances make a person? I know I sometimes think if I wasn't in this position/situation in life than I could accomplish this or I could do that. As I was talking to the teens I began realizing that as much as I hate my circumstances, these circumstances have nothing to do with my being able to accomplish anything.
In thinking over my last two months I would say that this has been the most stressful time I have ever been through. Between commuting an 1 1/2, the pastor leaving, my house mess, and Kyle starting the process to begin steriods I have felt overwhelmed, discouraged beyond words, and pretty angry. It is my heartfelt prayer that this chapter of my life get over quickly.
In focusing on all the externals it is very easy for me to distiguish between who I am and the circumstances around. Will life be different when the circumstances change? Reality is I am still the same person just like Joseph.
He was the same person when he was in the house of pottopher as he was when he was in prison. This is a sharp dose of reality. I have little to no clue what the future holds for me. It wouldn't suprise me if I became an aflec salesman any more than it would suprise me if I stayed at St Marks or if I found a job in Valpo. But, these are all exteriors, rather the question is are any of these going to change the person that I am? I hope that I have the faith and trust that God does know what is going on, but I also have the responsibilty to continue being willing to grow into who God wants me to be. It is really not fun being in this position or answering the question what are you going to do? I can honestly answer I don't know, but I can answer I am working on being who God wants me to be in the meantime.

How are we going to get to New York?

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Thu, 15 May 2008 13:04:00 +0000

I never thought my life would be this affected by the rising costs of gas. With all my crazy commuting back and forth between goshen my gas costs are close to 25% of my income. I had friend joke with me the other day well you are going to be breaking even by the time the prices come to a close. Which hopefully won't happen. I have no idea who else it is effecting but personally it is effecting me. This is just a crazy situation but not as much of a headache as trying to find trnasportation to New York City this summer.
I wouldn't have thought getting to New York would be the toughest part of this mission trip planning. I was quoted $8,000 + a drivers hotel room for the week by a bus company, I was told that enterprise does not allow their vehicles from here to be driven to the city. Amtrack would be an interesting alternative but when I did my research the cost was lower but it goes from elkhart to cleveland to pittsburgh to washington dc to philadelphia to new york city. A fun filled 36 hours of being on a train each way. Granted there would be many stories to tell from that trip. Greyhound may be the best option. It only takes 26 hours again the stories from a greyhound bus is going to be unbelievable. We even checked into flying the price was do able about $250 per person. Then I started looking at the times and it said 11 hours from take off to getting down at JFk. After looking at the itinerary I found that it goes from south bend to chicago to cinncinati and then to New York. I guess that is do able all except transportation while in the city.
There has to be some unconventional way of thinking about this this problem adnd finding a solution. Maybe we could get on fed ex plane or a farmer needs 24 people to help him get pigs across the country,an amish family may have relatives in the new york area we could hitch a ride on a buggy or a prison bus has extra room. There has to be a cheaper way to get from here to New York. That is my mission and I would love any ideas or help. I am thinking boat may be the cheapest.
How is the price of gas changing your life?

Update on Kyle

noreply@blogger.com (Ben Polhemus) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:02:00 +0000

I haven't talked alot about Kyle and his MD (muscular dystrophy) for the past few years. It is a tough topic for me to talk about and in some ways have tried to push it out of my mind for as much as I can.
Jill took Kyle to the doctor today. This is one of those appointments we have been dreading for the past few years. Our appointments up until this point had been filled with he is doing well at this point, he is stable and not going downhill. Today we knew that the doctor would be suggesting him start on his steriod medication. That was nt a suprise, I guess in my mind what was a suprise was that Kyle also has osteo perosis (?) and an enlarged part of the heart from overwork. Both of these are not uncommon in md patients, but it is hard because we can start seeing the deteriation we have been dreading for the past few years. I think the hardest part has been well meaning people tell us he looks fine, we think this isn't really going to happen. Well we wish it really wasn't going to happen and I believe God can heal him but if that doesn't happen reality says his body and inner organs are going to deteriate in front of us.
As hard as all the crazy things have been in the last year, these trials may only be preparing us for each of the coming trials we will have.